Edward Scissorhands

Just got back from watching Edward Scissorhands. Not the Tim Burton movie, but the stage version by Matthew Bourne. I have never seen a "contemporary interpretation dance" before, although I did see the porn version, Edward Penishands. Like the part in the film when the cars pull out of the drive way, the choreography is unique and...different from anything I have seen. One thing that surprised me, it was all dance, no dialog or singing. I guess that is why they call it "interpretive dance". So, it helps to have seen the film to get the basic story.

This blog is not meant to be a review of either the film nor the dance. To sum it up, everyone knows that Edward Scissorhands (the film by Tim Burton) is my favourite film of all time. As for the dance, I liked it, I would give it and eight. I guess I am a bit more "cultured" now that I have seen a professional stage performance. But before you judge me, keep in mind that I would never see such a thing if not for the subject matter. So, I am not that "cultured", although I have been waiting to see this since it premiered in London last year.


On a side note, the guy who played Jim looked a lot like Peter from Heroes. At least from where I was sitting. Also, Kim is a cheerleader. Save the Cheerleader...Save the World. Oh wait, there is more. It was playing at The Ahmanson Theater. I went to school at Otis College of Art and Design, and the main building there is the Ahmanson Hall. I wrote an essay about Edward Scissorhands as part of my application to Otis. I cut class one day (19 November 1999) to see Johnny Depp get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Tim Burton was there, and they signed my Edward Scissorhands program. Weird.

Do I recommend it? Yes. The show is on tour in US and Canada, so check your local performing arts theaters for shows or go here: http://www.edwardscissorhands.co.uk/mk2/index.html for tour dates. As for the film itself, I highly suggest you watch it. In fact, go get the DVD and you may want the soundtrack as well.

Jesus is Magic...Sarah Silverman is HOT!

You would think that I am writing a review on Jesus Is Magic. Well, I have not seen it, yet...let me tell you why. About a month ago, I purchased the DVD on half.com. A week or two later, I got the package. But, they sent me the audio CD. I double checked the purchase order and my emails relating to the purchase. It clearly stated that I purchased a DVD!

So, I wrote back to the seller, telling them that they sent me the right title but WRONG ITEM! They later wrote back saying that my request to return has been authorized. Wait, they made a mistake and I had to be authorized? If I order a veggie burger with cheese and I received a plain veggie burger...do I need "authorization" from the shift manager to get a slice of cheese? No! They take it back and slap a slice of cheese on it, and maybe even spit on it, but I get my cheese.

Anyway, at least they sent me a return label to send the CD back. Of course, I did not open the CD. Hey, I am a pretty honest guy...okay, not really. I sent the CD off. About a week later, I get nothing, so I write back and inquire the status of my purchase. They write back stating that a refund had been issued back to my account. Uh, where is my DVD? If I wanted my money back, I would have said, "hey, I want my money back". I want the damn DVD, so I can SEE and hear Sarah Silverman.

Now, I am not really sure that I have received my refund yet. I really want the DVD, because Sarah Silverman is hot! I got back to half.com and order from a different seller. Fast forward a week or two I get my package. Let me go off on another tangent here. Does it really take a over a week to send a package? I get stuff all the time and it should only take 3-5 days to ship things within the US. Heck, I got something from Hong Kong in 4 days, Hong Kong!

Where was I? Yeah, I open the package and what is inside? Jesus Is Magic...the CD! Are you people kidding me?!? First, it take almost two weeks for me to receive the item, then both of these idiots send me the CD when it clearly stated that I ordered the DVD. I give up, I am just keeping the CD from the second moron and get the DVD from a walk in store..because I can tell the different between a CD and a DVD.

Tip to retailers: A CD is an audio medium. It is usually packed in a clear brittle plastic (like a polystyrene) jewel case measuring about 5x5.5x0.375...the smaller one. A DVD is a video medium. It is usually packaged in an opaque semi-flexible plastic (polypropylene) jewel case measuring about 7.375x6.375x0.625...the bigger one. Oh, in this case, it also has "The Unrated MOVIE" written on the cover of the DVD.

Shopping by touch and smell??

American Eagle, Holister, Abercrombie & Fitch, Abercrombie and others like you.

Let me start with the positive: HOT people! The girls...and guys that work here are gorgeous! No experience required, you just have to look good. Generally, the merchandise in these stores are pretty nice. It is great that they have the employees model their clothing, because we all know that sex sells. They would never hire me to work there...unless they need a 'before model'.

The negative: Why is everything so damn expensive??? Not only are the prices outrageous, but I am paying top dollar for wrinkled clothes with stains and holes in them? They even try to cover it up the holes with patches and stitching. Does the girl at the register come with purchase? Remember back-in-the-day when they used "Pre-Washed" or "Pre-Shrunk" as a selling point, now they are pre-stained, wrinkled, and damaged. In short, you can get that same "pre-worn" look at a fraction of the price at any second hand store.
Why is it so damn loud in here? I can only stand about five minutes in one of these stores, then my ears start bleeding. Studies do show that stores that play music generate more sales, this is ridiculous. There is a fine line between music and noise. If you want to check out some really good speakers, forget going to a THX certified theater or even an electronics store with that 'private room'...go to one of these stores. Spinal Tap has nothing on these guys.
With the exception of American Eagle...Why is it so damn dark in here? This applies mainly to Holister. If I am going to buy something from a store, I am going to want to have a look around. Maybe see if you have a certain item in my size, colour, or style. I cannot do that with the lights turned off. Surely, with all the money you make from the $90 jeans (with wrinkles, holes, and stains), you can afford to turn on the goddamn lights!!! Or, is all your electricity going to those damn speakers??? At least turn on the lights so I can check out the hot chicks you have working there.

Are you guys conducting some kind of secret government experiment?

With all that said, I would not mind getting clothing from any of these places. I wear a men's medium (t-shirts, jackets, sweaters, etc.) and 29-30 inch waist with a 32 inch inseam. I love free stuff.

Pixelization

Now, I really like movies and TV. But sometimes they do things that are just IMPOSSIBLE!!! And I am not talking about stunts...I may talk about that later. I found the above image on Google, the image on the upper right and bottom shows the pixels that make up the smaller image on the upper left. Pretty obvious.

There is NO WAY that anyone can take an image like this and "enhance" it to a point that we can see who this person is. Especially when it is a screen capture from a video taken from a black and white security camera!!! Yet, this miracle happens every time on shows like CSI. Let the record show that I love the CSI series (I watch CSI: Miami right after Heroes).

Not only does this happen a lot, it happens fast...on TV and in film. Seriously, in a place like Miami, New York, or Las Vegas...with all that goes on in those cities, how can they possibly solve a (sometimes two) murder case in a day? Oh, by the way, and getting a DNA match is not as easy as making popcorn in a microwave.

So please, you technical adviser guys, stop it with the instant matching of fingerprints and DNA. There is no program that can enhance an image taken with a mobile phone at 72 DPI , and make it seem like it was taken with a 10 mega pixel camera.

That is all. Oh, today is my cousin's birthday. So, happy birthday Frances.

Joe Nieuwendyk

Did I mention I like the Calgary Flames? Joe Nieuwendyk has always been one of my favourite players. Of course, he was a Flame. Earlier this week, (6 December 2006) Nieuwendyk retired after 20 seasons of great hockey. He played for five teams in his great NHL career; Calgary Flames, Dallas Stars, New Jersey Devils, Toronto Maple Leafs, and Florida Panthers.

His number should be retired by the Flames, and maybe even the Stars, and he better make it into the Hockey Hall of Fame. Why?

• Calder Trophy as Rookie of the year in 1988 with 51 goals, 41 assists...92 points. Also All-Rookie team.
  
• In 1989, helped the Flames win their first (so far only) Stanley cup. Also scored 51 goals that season.
• King Clancy Memorial Trophy in 1995.
• Second Stanley Cup in 1999 with Dallas Stars. Also Won Conn Smythe Trophy as MVP of the Playoffs.
• Won third Cup with New Jersey Devils in 2003. That is three Cups with three teams.
• Represented Team Canada in the Olympics in 1998 and 2002. Winning a gold medal in 2002.
• Retired with 564 goals, 562 assists, 1126 points in1257 games, with a career total +/- of plus-155 in regular season play. That puts him at 48th all time (tie with Mike Bossy).
• Retired with 66G, 50A, 116 points in 158 playoff games, winning three Stanley Cups and one Conn Smythe Trophy

That is why!!!

HEROES

Hey, you know what? I really love that show Heroes. Check it out on Mondays at 9PM (here on the west coast anyway) on NBC. Oh, but wait...the show is taking a break for the holidays. I guess NBC has a pretty good vacations, I wonder how their medical plans are. Anyway, new show will start again on 22 January (that would be a Monday). Meanwhile, you can check out the first 11 episodes on NBC.com/Heroes. Enjoy.