Is there a doctor in the house?

Imagine you, or someone close to you, is in need of medical attention and you scream the words, "I need a doctor, now!" Obviously, you want someone with better medical knowledge than yourself, a 'doctor'.


But, there seems to be more than one kind of doctor. I am not just talking about a pediatrician, dentist, dermatologist, optometrist, etc. Those are real doctors and have earned the right to be called that. I am talking about doctors of philosophy, art, history, english...etc. No medical training, whatsoever! If I have a deep cut on my leg, I will need stitches, not a theory on impressionists.


I have a friend that is studying to be a doctor. That is hardcore dedication. First (forgive me if i missed a few steps) there is pre-med, regular med, rotations, residency, internship...then some more stuff...then you get to be called 'doctor'. That is a lot to learn and go through just to get started in an industry.


Hey, I went to a junior college for a few years, then went to an art college and "studied" toy design. Now, I sit there and basically make toys all day...easy! Nothing compared to what doctors do. As far as helping and healing people, all I can offer is a band aid, maybe a toy if you are good.


Then we get people who are 'doctors' because they studied and wrote papers on philosophy, art...you know what I am talking about...and they get to be called 'doctor'??? Yeah, I know you worked hard to get your degree, but are you helping anyone??? You will get no such respect from me. Hey, I will give you the term 'professor', since all you pretty much do is teach your subject.


So, here is my idea. Only people that have proper medical training and are recognized by the board (I am sure that there is a governing body somewhere in Washington), can be called 'doctor'. They have to have those cool diplomas in their office and were white coats with long tails and have pens in the pockets.


All other 'doctors', shall have that title revoked and reinstated as 'professor' upon further review from the board in Washington. Oh, those scientist that have the long white coats and pens...and lack proper medical training...sorry, you do not get to be called 'doctor' either.


Okay, I will make one exception...Dr. Emmet Lathrop Brown.