Traveling For The First Time Since Pandemic

 Like most of us, many have not traveled in almost two years.  The last time I was on a plane was the Winter of 2019, just before things were shut down.  That was just a domestic flight, so no big deal.  The last international flight for me was late 2018.

I just got back from a quick business trip from US to UK, then to Switzerland, and back.  That is four plane trips in three countries over five days.  This worked out to be over 11,800 miles and almost 24 hours sitting in a plane. Fun times!

Because of all that has happened the last two years, things have changed.  There are many forms to fill out, and many apps to download to make your travel experience a lot...easier...and stressful.  You pretty much need to be vaccinated in order to travel and/or enter another country.  If you happen to be one of the 'red flagged' countries...good luck with that. 

Side note:  Plane tickets are relatively cheap, it is the taxes that make it seem expensive.  The itemized breakdown of the tickets show that about half the cost is just in taxes.  Yikes!

Here is a fun tip.  If you happen to have 'special dietary needs', remember to request that when booking your tickets.  I usually go with vegetarian, just to be safe, since I am a picky eater.  No meat for me, but I can go with seafood.  I doubt they would serve seafood on a plane.  

While the plane will usually have a selection of meals, options like vegetarian meals may run out, depending on how far back in coach you are sitting.  When you pre-order a meal, you get served first.  Yeah, while everyone is waiting for the cart to roll to them and hope for some good choices, you are already munching down on some sweet plane food.  I actually like the food that is served on the plane.  Maybe because, the special meals are better prepared...or just easier not to mess up.

Also, this is a good time to travel, since not everyone is traveling.  You, like me will mostly get a whole row to yourself.  It seems like the airlines are assigning seats with an empty seat in between, then filling those when/if needed.  I was lucky to have the whole row on three of the four flights, and on both long haul flights.  Yay!

Traveling to UK

Going to visit the Queen?  You will need to complete a Passenger Locator Form.  Whether you are transferring at a UK airport, or staying for a bit, you need this form.  This form is a little tricky to fill out, as there are many questions regarding your heath status.  One thing you will need is a Booking Number.

What is a Booking Number?  The UK wants you to be tested to really make sure you do not have the cooties.  So, you will need to book a testing either in person or by self via mail.  How do they know you are going to be tested?  Well...this is open to debate.  You are required to have that booking number, but it really does not say that it is required to actually take the test.  Hmm...loop holes.

But!  But, you will need a negative test, within 3 days of travel, to return to the US. So, you should take that test.  Oh, me?  Yeah, I took the home version and mailed it.  It has been about three weeks, I still have not received results from them.

Pro tip:  If you are flying British Airways, download the VeriFly app, as it will help you through security.

Traveling to Switzerland

I traveled to Switzerland from the UK, so things might be different depending on where you are arriving from.  There where no special forms to fill out or yet another app to download.  

But!  But, you will need a special form, proof of vaccination, to enter certain facilities, like restaurants.  Out of all the forms and QR codes printed and saved on my phone, this was the only one that was actually scanned.  Most of the time, they just do a quick glance at your form to make sure you have it filled out, then send you on your way.

Since I was heading back to US in two days, I needed to take a COVID-19 test, and needed fast results.  There are stations at airports that will provide this service.  Very quick, very easy...but not cheap.  Cost was $75.  Yikes!  Results are emailed to you within the hour.

Of course, you will need these results to fill out more forms before you are allowed to fly into the US.  Still waiting on those results from the test I took in the UK.  Okay, this is probably my fault...I may have forgotten to fill out the information on the test tube.  Hey, there were a lot of steps to register the kit, and after partying for a few days until 4AM, I missed an important step.  Or, maybe the people I left it with, did not put it in the post for me.

So, there you have it.  A quick reference to international travel.  Check with the airline and local government for up to date requirements before traveling.  There is a lot more to do, but relatively easy.  Heck, if I was able to do it, anyone can.  Good luck and have a fun and safe trip.

FUCK YOU, STOP CALLING ME - November 2021

 Here we go, another month of telemarketing calls and texts.  What creative scams will we see this month?

1 November 2021

  alessandra-ashely-1761@outlook.com - Finally, a scam we can get excited about.  

Normally, we break down little details of the text itself or the address or number/location of the sender.  Heck, sometimes we go deep into misspellings and analysis of the link.  We really want to nitpick that link, as it looks like a cat walked on the center of the keyboard.  Although, we are intrigued by the repeating pattern of letters. Heck, if  the cat walked just a little to the left, and only walked on the D, F, and G...it could be notes to a song.  See, that H throws it all out of whack.

That extra space and lack of a comma after 'Now' is begging for us to poke fun at.  And, that is not the only grammatical issues we see.  So many flags being raised...among other things being raised.

alessandra-ashely-1761@outlook.com

  We are also not going to do talk about these matters, and we are not going to talk about the time of the incoming text. Because, we are really, for the lack of a better word, excited about this.

No way this is a scam, right?  Random chick just pick one special person to text and offer up their genitals to be tongue lashed.  Sure, it happens all the time. The name Alessandra Ashely totally does not sound like a made up stripper name to get the blood rushing to our credentials.  

Maybe tonight is the night we finally get lucky.  Normally, we end these things by saying fuck you, but in this case, we think it is appropriate to say, lick you!

2 November 2021

halanabegum774@gmail.com - Could this be the month of texts by email.  

halanabegum774@gmail.com

No offers to stroll down Petticoat Lane, just a link.  A questionable link send at 5:21AM.  Fuck you!

310-849-9130  Beverly Hills, CA - Welcome back!  Good to see a semi-familiar number.  We know what to do in situations like this. But, slight twist, they left a voicemail, at 7:51AM.  All the bot was able to get through, after our long outgoing message...was just "goodbye"

310-849-9130

Goodbye, indeed.  Better yet, fuck you!

310-436-8400  Gardena, CA - Meh, could be a wrong number.  Nothing came up on a search, so we will just classify this under telemarketer as default. Fuck you!

 3 November 2021

  +95 18185504  Myanmar (Burma) - Either this is a really wrong number...who would misdial a long distance number?  Or, they are not spoofing numbers anymore and car just calling straight from Myanmar.  Fuck you!

615-450-3396  Hartsville, TN - This is interesting.  While this could be legit, there are signs pointing to another scam. Join us, as we break this down.  First, let us take a look at the text:

615-450-3396

The origin of the text comes from a number located in Hartsville, TN.  This claims to be from Walgreens/Kroger.  Walgreens has their headquarters in Deerfield, IL, while Kroger has their headquarters in Cincinnati, OH.  Yes, there is a possibility that William F Prince has an office in Hartsville.

Speaking of William F Prince...we looked him up.  There is no HR Manager named William F Prince that works for either Walgreens or Kroger.  You would think that someone up top like that would at least have some sort of professional listing.  Nope. We even looked up HR Managers for both businesses and none of them were named William F Prince.  Again, there could be a chance that a William F Prince is a regional or local HR Manager...maybe.

Some grammatical issues we see.  The ® should be placed after Kroger, not after 'stores'...and if you are going to have that ®, you should have it after Walgreens, as well.  There should be a period after F, in the middle initial of the name.  Why is Manager in parentheses?  There should be no parentheses in a job title.

The link, of course, is questionable...we have been through this part.  Also, why contact us for these 'tasks'.  Seriously, $350-$450 is good money to chill at a store for 20-30 minutes...but that is 20-30 minutes at a Walgreens and/or Kroger.  Fuck that, and fuck you!

5 November 2021

  615-572-3860  Tennessee  - Another text from Tennessee.  What is up with that large blank space?

615-572-3860

Wait, is $100 credit for evaluating a Walgreens/Kroger?  Honestly, we have not left the house...you know, Global Pandemic and all.  Did just doing the research on William F Prince, looking up Walgreens and Kroger, earn us $100?

Maybe we should click on that link.  Maybe you go fuck yourself.

  424-209-5396  Culver City, CA - Tha' fuck is this shit?  Fuck you!

10 November 2021

  310-849-2963 Beverly Hills, CA - Ah, good old Beverly Hills numbers.  We know what to do with that.  Well, pretty much the same thing with all telemarketer calls, we just ignore it.  But, with these Beverly Hills numbers, we do not need to do a search to see if they might be legit.  

Maybe someday we will meet Jed and his family and see what this is all about. Until then, fuck you!

  615-450-3396  Hartsville, TN - This the same message as above from Kroger/Walgreens HR (Manager), William F Prince.

615-450-3396

Wait, could this be legit?  Does not matter, fuck you!

  310-526-3714  Santa Monica, CA - Labeled as Spam Risk and caught by Call Protect.  That means you really fucked up in life, and you are working as a telemarketer.  Fuck you!

12 November 2021

  209-739-3641 Manteca, CA - Whoa, Manteca!  Back in the day, there was a water park in Manteca. In a time before 8:00AM telemarketing call, that water park was the crown jewel of Manteca.  Fuck you!

Update:  We got a voicemail

209-739-3641

Student loans?  Ha!  You assume that we are educated and have student loans.  

We also looked up that 1-800 number, and it came up as a (possible) scam.  We looked up Student Loan Forgiveness Center.  Basically, it does not really exist.  There are complaints about this company being a telemarketing scam. Fuck you!

16 November 2021

  albinatimeayevf@outlook.com - So, this came in late at night, at 10:34 PM.  We were getting our beauty sleep when this came in.  If you know what we look like, you know we need our beauty sleep.  Writing this the next day, times and dates of this post are correct.

This is our favourite part...breaking it down.

First, the name.  Well, first...this was sent via email, from what looks suspiciously like a fake account.  It starts out like it could be some hot name from a hot chick.  But then, it just ends in a bunch of mangled letters.  

albinatimeayevf@outlook.com

We continue.  So, is "Sexy Girl" your name?  Why would it be capitalized?  Did you mean "I'm a sexy girl"?  That makes more sense and sounds kinda hot.  Wait, did your parents name you "Sexy Girl".  Shit, going through life like that must have been hard with people making gun of your name.  Heck, with a name like that, the only career path would be some sort of erotic performer...like a stripper.  Oh wait, is that just your stripper name?  I like it, it gets right to the point. Nothing confusing like "SanDeE*".

Next line.  "I love fucking".  Cool, got it.  Again, straight to the point.  Not wasting time or characters.  Then, we have to call the Grammar Police, again.  Why is "Favorite Style" capitalized? and why is "Doggy" in parentheses?  This is so Confusing To (US).

Last line.  "Hit me its my personal link::"  Working backwards, you only need one set of colons.  Wait, are we talking about anal whilst in doggy?  Moving on..."its"?  You mean "it's", it is...as in , it is my personal link.   There should also be a comma after "Hit me".  For your consideration:  "Hit me, it's my personal link:". 

Again we have another link that looks way too suspicious.  That first part is just some intern taping on the three keys in the middle of a keyboard.  "Oh, look at me I am coding...ghjghjuhjfh".

Would it be inappropriate if we sent back a random dick pic?  Fuck you!

17 November 2021

  +33 3 60 35 71 62 Creil, Picardy, France - There is a 'Picardy' in France?  Is this where the Picard family is originally from?  Totally plausible that the Picard's migrated 500km Southeast to Le Barre, and one day Jean-Luc Picard was born.  Maybe they were on holiday.

Yes, totally going to gloss over the fact that this call cam all the way from France.  Make it so!

19 November 2021

  310-322-8706 El Segundo, CA - No message, no results after a quick search. Could be a  wrong number.  Very doubtful. Fuck you!

20 November 2021

  310-849-7359 Beverly Hills, CA - We can always count on Beverly Hills to call.  

310-849-7359

Ha ha! Thanks to our  long and annoying outgoing message, all the robot was able to get was 'goodbye'.  Fuck you!

  asyatkhadzhiyevf@outlook.com - This is the same email text as previous.  Note the  time this was received.  Exactly the same time at 10:34PM, this is a pattern.  One more and we get a free gift.

asyatkhadzhiyevf@outlook.com

However, the email address on this one is your typical 'cat walking on keyboard' name.  Clearly a fake address.  No need to send dick pic, as they will never receive it.

The link is slightly different.  Same random use of the letter at the center of a keyboard, just different configuration.  Basically, same cat.  Fuck you!

22 November 2021

  805-527-6940  Simi Valley, CA - Based on initial search results, this is very likely a spoofed number.  This might be our first call from Simi Valley, so we are exited about that.  But, not as excited to say, fuck you!

26 November 2021

  209-954-5655  Stockton, CA - We know the AHL affiliate of the Calgary Flames are in Stockton. But we doubt they would be calling us.  We are not season ticket holders to either the Flames or the Heat.  

209-954-5655

No need for a search.  They left a message...and automated one.  You can see that it was cut off, and obviously not a human.  

Well, it is good to see that even robots are taking time off for Thanksgiving, but you fuckers are back at work for Black Friday.  Fuck you!

29 November 2021

  monaolagacerr4084@hotmail.com - Note the time.  Coming in at 1:51 AM.

monaolagacerr4084@hotmail.com

We were hoping for some sort of message.  Maybe something about a Sexy Girl.  This is just to vague for us to randomly click.  Will probably click on link...maybe not.  Fuck you!